Helping Kids Recognize Sin
“If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” — 1 John 1:8–9 (ESV)
In our last post, we described God’s commands as a circle of blessing—a picture of His loving protection. Inside that circle we find safety and joy. Outside it, we experience the painful effects of sin. We saw that warning is one of the ways God shows His love, inviting us to stay near Him where safety and joy are found.
But even when children understand that God’s ways are good, they still wander. Their curiosity, impulses, and desires sometimes lead them outside that circle. And as parents, we meet those moments every day.
This brings us to the uncomfortable subject of sin. In our culture today, this word is often avoided, redefined, or reduced to merely emotional or psychological struggles. Because they are often more palatable than what the Bible tells us, it’s important to learn how to recognize the root of the counsel before we accept it.
Following the Logic
Why is this so important? First John 1:8-9 tells us that if we don’t think we have any sin, we are living in self-deception. The truth is not in us. We will not confess sin because we don’t think we have any. And if we don’t confess sin, we will not seek God’s forgiveness. We will not be cleansed, which means we cannot stand before Him.
If we believe the Bible, and we follow this logic to the end, then when we face God at the judgment seat at the end, we will not stand. This might sound sobering—and it should be.
But the goal isn’t fear. It’s to help us see that recognizing sin is actually the doorway to receiving grace.
As believers, we can be tempted to emphasize God’s love and gentleness while skipping over His holiness and justice. But our children need to know Him in His fullness, because that’s where true security is found. For the youngest children, it is very important that they know God is good, loving, kind, and helpful. But if we only tell them this, we are not representing Him fully.
That’s why, when they become mobile and start making choices—and this actually begins quite early, before they can even speak—it is important for us as parents to define God’s boundaries for them. For all of us are born believing that we are the “masters of our own fate.” To teach them that this is not true and is not the way to blessing, is vital.
As Tedd Tripp explains in Shepherding a Child’s Heart, a parent’s primary task is to teach children that they live under authority—ours first, and ultimately God’s. It begins with obeying parents, as their first, most tangible frame of reference (Eph. 6:1-3).
But our authority is not ultimate, nor is it permanent. Eventually, they will need to make a decision in regard to their personal relationship with God, as they begin to understand the nature of their sin and need for a Savior. If we do not train them to obey, it is actually doing them a disservice, for they will not see their need for the gospel, or they will view it as a ticket to heaven, a type of “fire insurance.”
If our goal is merely to get them to do the right thing but not grasp the spiritual implications of crossing God’s boundaries, then they will end up with false security in their own goodness or keep trying to do good works to earn their own way into heaven. Neither will save them.
Examining the Counsel
This is why it is important for parents to inspect and carefully question the root of all parenting advice. Before we apply what we hear, pause and examine: Does this counsel lead me or my child toward repentant humble dependence on Christ or self-reliance?
In contrast, God’s Word calls His people to love and obey Him so “it may go well” with them. If we believe He is the Creator of this world and us as humans, then He has the right to define how things operate. As parents, we are the human authorities our children need to both understand and help them live in the ways of the Lord for their benefit and blessing.
For that reason, correction is not about condemnation. It is an act of love that desires the best for our children—as God defines it. Because of the sin nature we all share, correction won’t always feel pleasant to our children. Yet even their resistance gives us an opportunity to show them what God’s patience looks like. His kindness is meant to lead to our repentance (Romans 2:4).
Appropriate Correction
Even if we must correct, we can do so without crushing them when we remember that they are image bearers as we are, and without Christ, it is impossible to please Him. We use the authority granted to us to serve as God’s ambassadors, pointing them back to Him. We represent His Kingdom and through our discipline, aim to bring them back to Him.
That is why appropriate correction needs to be done in gentleness and kindness, not out of anger. That is inconsistent with what we’ve been telling them about God and misrepresents His nature. The manner in which we correct is just as important as what we say when we correct them.
Each child responds differently, so correction needs to be done as is fitting to them. First Thessalonians 5:14 tells us to “admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.” This suggests that we adjust our correction to fit the person and the occasion, but that patience should be the general tone.
I’ve had to apply this not only between children but also with the same child, depending on the situation. Some days are hard and need a firmer tone. Other days, they are more open to correction so I adjust my tone as well. Again, this is why we need to abide in Christ, that we may bear good fruit in these moments.
Sin Reveals Our Need, Not Our Worthlessness
Therefore, to correct our child, we need to remember God’s intention for His rules. Because of our sin, it will be impossible to keep them all perfectly. We may keep some of them but inconsistently. Or we may fail to keep the ones that are important to Him, the sin of omission.
The goal is not to try to keep them all perfectly in our own strength. We may do the right things outwardly but harbor rebellion inwardly. That’s why correction isn’t just about behavior—it helps our children see that something deeper in their hearts needs God’s grace.
This recognition—that not only do I do wrong things, but that there is something wrong with my heart—is what we’re looking for. This is what correction helps them to see. When they are repeatedly corrected, we pray that God might use these moments to help shed light into their spiritual blindness and awaken their hearts to the gospel.
So, Do We Wait to Share the Gospel?
As Paul would say: “By no means!” We begin by sharing Jesus’s death and resurrection as part of the overall Bible story, but as they mature and their understanding awakens, we begin to tell them why it was necessary: to take on the punishment that we deserve for our sin.
When our children have been corrected consistently, they will understand what it means to be disciplined. Even at this early stage, when they’re just beginning to grasp that wrong actions displease God, we can begin to weave in the story of Jesus’s love and rescue.
This is how the gospel truly is good news. Jesus has taken our penalty once for all, meaning that He has covered every sin they have made and will make. In this way, even in their sin, they need not be shamed. These correction moments can become times we can share of their great value to Christ, who has given His life for them.
When we help them see this, we’re not shaming them but guiding them back to what is good. Sin does not erase their worth. Rather, it exposes their need for a Savior. This kind of correction tells the truth about sin and the truth about grace at the same time. It keeps the circle of blessing intact, not through fear or pride, but through relationship.
Taking It Home
If this makes sense but you’re still not sure how this looks, may I suggest a few practical ways to correct your child without crushing them?
1. Pause Before You Correct – If you feel frustration rising, ask God to help you collect yourself and
Acknowledge our child is His and we are His servants
Confess any anger, frustration or irritation
Ask for humility, calmness, and grace towards your child
2. Name the Action and the Heart - Take time to understand the relationship between their actions and their hearts (Luke 6:45) and explain the connection for them
If your child is very young, address just the action
If they begin to understand reason, what desire, fear, or belief might be behind it—such as control, comfort, attention, or fairness?
3. Keep Correction Short and Restorative – When you speak, also connect the action to God’s heart.
Keep it short and sweet, focusing on how their actions have disregarded God’s ways and breaks our relationship with Him.
Help them acknowledge their sin, even if they are not ready to trust Christ for salvation yet.
This is a matter of discernment for parents. As we connect their actions to their hearts and compare their hearts to God’s character, they begin to see how they miss the mark. Admitting that sin is the first step to submitting to God’s authority. It also helps them see that sin breaks their relationship with Him and it needs to be restored—all which prepare them for the gospel message.
The Long-Term Outcome
These moments might feel repetitive or even fruitless—but don’t lose heart. Every time you lead your child to confession or forgiveness, you’re helping them form categories that will one day make the gospel shine. So after you correct your child, we can pray, “Lord, use this moment to open their heart to You.”
However the conversation goes, always end it with hope. Speak truth that points them forward to Christ. Remind them that God still loves them. Hug them and hold them close to reinforce that tangibly. It is holy work—slow, unseen, but precious in God’s sight. Each correction given in love reflects the heart of Christ to your child.
