Warnings: Teaching God’s Good Boundaries
“And the LORD commanded us to do all these statutes, to fear the LORD our God, for our good always, that He might preserve us alive.” — Deuteronomy 6:24 (ESV)
In our last post, we looked at how wonder awakens awareness of God. Though He is invisible, we pray that as children see His fingerprints in creation and kindness, their hearts will open to this good and powerful God. Our own awe and gratitude model the right response to Him.
But wonder alone is not enough. As awareness grows, children must also learn that God’s goodness is revealed not only in what He made but also in what He commands. This can be harder for us—and them—because sometimes we simply don’t like His commands.
This is where faith enters. The same God who filled the world with delights also gave it moral order. His wisdom is greater than ours, and His commands, though sometimes contrary to our preferences, are good because He is good.
As parents, we need to wrestle with this too. Do I believe this myself? Do I believe that right and wrong are not human inventions but flow from His holy character? And I do believe that these commands are not arbitrary but boundaries of blessing meant for our good?
Unless our teaching is rooted in the goodness of God, it will drift into moralism. We may tell our kids to “be nice,” but niceness isn’t holiness. Our children can act kindly yet be driven by pride, fear, or desire for approval.
So how do we help our children develop a moral standard beyond themselves, a standard that flows from the heart of our loving God who defines what is good? How do we help them move towards Him in obedience in trust and love? This post turns here now.
God’s Commands: Good and Protective
Scripture affirms again and again that the God who made this beautiful world also rules it wisely. He created and sustains all things (Col. 1:16–17), owns it (Ps. 24:1), and governs it with wisdom and kindness (Prov. 3:19–20; Ps. 145:9, 13, 17). Because He is good, His ways are righteous and trustworthy, even when we don’t understand them.
Deuteronomy 6:24 reminds us that His commands are for our good always. When we live in reverent awe of Him, obedience becomes a way of trusting that His boundaries protect, not restrict. Warnings, then, are acts of mercy. They stir a healthy fear of the Lord and remind us that He alone knows what leads to life.
Sin, however, blinds our understanding. Faith calls us to trust His heart even when His commands don’t feel pleasant. Obedience requires believing that His wisdom is better than our own.
Children, of course, will struggle with this. We do, so they will too. That’s why it’s vital to ground their understanding of obedience in God’s goodness and kindness early. Without that foundation, His commands will seem harsh instead of protective.
God gives His people what Tedd Tripp calls a “circle of blessing,” a place of safety and fellowship under His authority. The Ten Commandments define this moral circle. There are blessings of staying within it and curses of leaving it (see Deuteronomy 26 to get a picture of how this looks).
The moral law still shows what pleases God, but because of Christ’s work on the cross, our obedience now flows from relationship, not performance. God’s boundaries mark the space where life flourishes under His care.
Our Role as Parents
As Christ’s ambassadors, we help our children understand this circle—not as rules to fear but as expressions of love. We show them that God’s boundaries protect joy and fellowship, while wandering outside them brings harm.
Proverbs 1–9 models this beautifully. A father pleads with his son to choose wisdom, weaving together both blessings and warnings. Interestingly, there are more warnings than blessings. Why? Because God knows our bent toward folly. We need the extra nudge!
Yet the tone of these warnings is tender, not harsh. The father doesn’t say, “Obey me or else!” Rather, he pleads, “My son, keep my words and live.” Warnings are expressions of love that protect, not threats that control.
We see this in God’s interaction with Adam and Eve. He placed restrictions in the garden not to withhold joy, but to preserve it. Likewise, Jesus warned His disciples out of compassion, not irritation.
Warnings, then, are mercy in action.
As children grow, they’ll inevitably encounter that inward battle between wisdom and folly. Whether it’s a toddler reaching for danger, a preschooler refusing to share, or a teen testing boundaries, each moment is an opportunity to connect behavior to belief: Will I trust God’s way or my own?
When your child obeys, point them to the grace of God that helps them submit instead of praising them for being a “good boy.” Obedience flows from His strength, not ours. Let us help them give due credit to the Lord.
This helps them recognize their dependence and need for Him. Over repeated warnings, we train them to trust Him in the future. It moves from law to gospel, from “Don’t touch, it will hurt you” to “Stay near to Christ, who keeps you safe.”
Taking This Home
To help you internalize and personalize these for yourself, consider the following:
1.Understand the purpose of warnings.
Remember: Warnings are acts of mercy. They reveal a God who protects, not punishes. How might your warnings reflect His loving character?
2. Discern appropriate warnings.
Keep them age-appropriate and clear, not arbitrary or random, but pertinent to their stage of life.
For Toddlers: keep them concrete and immediate, usually safety-related (“Don’t touch, it’s hot”). Think about your own home environment. What might be appropriate warnings they encounter?
For Preschoolers: simple moral connections that define God’s standards of right and wrong. One of the clearest is Eph. 6:1-3. God commands children to obey parents. We don’t need to hold this over their heads like a club, but it is what He expects from them. How well do your children obey you? How can you lovingly teach them this?
For School-age: tie behavior to relationship with God, how sin grieves Him and hurts our relationship with Him and others. At its heart, each act of disobedience is a statement of distrust. Some key areas to watch out for includes dishonesty and selfishness. Try scripting out for yourself how you can have this conversation.
Tweens/Teens: slowly shift from warnings to appeals to their conscience. Key areas would be in their disrespect and as they make decisions. If they belong to Christ, how does their attitude or actions honor Him? Help them to begin develop reasons or see inconsistencies. This is important even for compliant kids who may look good on the outside but resistant to God in their hearts.
If your child professes to be a believer, how might you appeal to them as you address their sin? How does the gospel help you to encourage godliness in them, not to simply follow rules, but as a reflection of faith?
3. Cultivate a healthy fear of the Lord.
Teach your children that fearing God is not terror but reverent trust. Start with yourself: Let them see your own joyful submission to His Word. Ask: Do I take His commands seriously? Do my children see that? How can I share what I’ve learned with them?
4. Deliver your warnings with the 4 C’s.
Consistent: Let your “yes” be yes and “no” be no.
Clear: State the consequence plainly.
Compassionate and Calm: Warn with love, not anger.
Christ-centered: Point to Jesus, who obeyed perfectly and empowers us to do the same.
Which of these “C’s” do you need to grow in? List some ways you can be more consistent, clear, compassionate, calm, and/or Christ-centered in your warnings.
5. Reflect Christ even when they don’t listen.
God’s love doesn’t waver when we ignore His warnings. Likewise, let your discipline be steady, not reactive, even when we must administer correction. We’ll explore this more in the next post.
The Big Picture
The “circle of blessing” isn’t a formula for success but a relational boundary that says, “Here is where God’s favor and presence dwell.” Under the new covenant, our obedience flows from love, not legalism. Christ has already secured our standing; our obedience is a response of trust and gratitude.
When we teach right and wrong, we aren’t just shaping behavior—we’re revealing God’s heart. So parents, let us not grow weary in warning. Over time, your faithful warnings and consistent love will help your children see what you see: that holiness is beautiful, and sin always steals joy.
