The Ministry of Influence: Bringing God's Wisdom Into Everyday Relationships
“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”—1 Thessalonians 5:11 (ESV)
[This blog series is a reflection on some of the themes I have written on this blog.]
In the past couple of posts, we’ve moved from our personal relationship with God toward our relationships with others. We started with friends, but I don’t want to neglect those closest to us in our homes and families.
When I look back, so much of my growth in faith was tied to people. Yes, I needed to cultivate my own relationship with God—and that remains vital. I cannot look for this in my human relationships—people are not made to carry that burden.
Yet, at the same time, God uses people in our lives to help us grow. I am so grateful for friends that God has used to offer a word of challenge, encouragement, or comfort when I needed it the most.
As a counselor and teacher, I am keenly aware of the importance of what we say. Just as others have helped shape my faith, I want to be used to strengthen others as well. I desire to be one who strengthens and builds up others with my words. Even if it needs to be hard truth, I want to be able to speak it in love (Ephesians 4:15). Thankfully, God gives us two sources of help.
Help From God’s Word
From my own personal experience, I have found that the more connected I am to God, the more I am abiding in Him and resting in Him, the more—not less—I have to offer. As I tend to my own heart — sowing His Word, learning confession and repentance — the Spirit gradually shapes me. The Spirit takes these and helps me to bear fruit that reflects Him. When I don’t know what to say, He helps me serve them through prayer.
My hope in this blog is to help equip women to be encouragers—not with pithy statements or worldly counsel. I believe God’s Word speaks wisely to every issue of the human heart, even if you have not experienced the same situation.
You do not need to adopt a child to understand the pain of grief. You do not need to be a homeschool mom to know the weariness of wearing many hats and juggling many responsibilities. If we are growing in the Lord and letting Him help us work through our own struggles and trials, He is equipping us to share that wisdom with others, even if our circumstances are very different.
My prayer is that in sharing what I’m learning, the books I’m reading, what God is teaching me, you might be encouraged and built up in the places you need help. My vision is that as you are encouraged, God will in turn use you to be a blessing to others in your life, whether in your home, circle of friends, church or other communities.
Help From the Spirit
I cannot prepare you for every conversation you have, but you have someone even better: the Holy Spirit. He helps us to discern what is needed. He gives us the strength to focus and listen. He provides the peace that surpasses all understanding as we bring others to Him. He shapes our responses as we listen, pray, and rely on His wisdom, whether it be truth in love or words seasoned with salt (Col. 4:6), fit for the occasion.
Encouragement is a special ministry of influence—a responsibility and privilege we are called to pursue. It may feel awkward or imperfect at times, but even in this, we can grow. Speaking hope into the hearts of others, strengthening their courage and faith, does not come naturally or easily. When I am connected to Christ, it does come easier. He provides purpose and clarity, helps when I am unsure and allows me to build up others, and in doing so, strengthens not just individuals but the community of faith.
Encouragement in Real Struggles
Here are a few reflections from earlier posts that may help you think about how encouragement takes shape in different struggles.
How to Understand and Fight Fear
Sometimes it’s hard to know whether to offer advice or reassurance to friends who are anxious. Processing fear in your own heart helps equip you to be empathetic and encouraging her to remember God’s faithfulness and rest in His sovereignty when the need arises.
Doing Battle with Song: A Book Review on Songs of Suffering
Understanding how to view suffering and grief is one of the most difficult things to do. There are so many times I have tried to be helpful but my words make things worse. Like Job’s friends, I bungle things instead of help when I open my mouth. Learning to be comfortable with silence and content just by being present is a skill I want to learn. And when it’s time to speak, learning to lament in prayer with others is a wonderful way to offer God’s comfort instead of rushing to solutions that may or may not help.
I will admit it: I wrote this post for myself. I like things done a certain way and I can be domineering. But I don’t want to be that way. So I wrote this post to help me learn to trust God in my life and responses. But it’s hard to help someone else surrender and depend on God if I don’t do it myself. This is why I want to be faithful to not only advise others on what to do—I want to do it myself.
Stuck in LIfe’s Desert—Three Lessons to Remember in the Wilderness
One of the most challenging times is waiting. Sometimes it’s waiting for a life struggle to end or persevering through a deeply entrenched sin pattern. Thankfully, God does not have a timetable like ours. He is leading us out of the wilderness, but He is patient in hope as we learn new ways and grow. Even when we feel like we’re not progressing, we can trust that He is still at work.
Connecting the Dots
These are some of the ways we can be an encouragement to others. How are you doing with intentionally looking for ways to encourage the people God has placed in your life today? What is one ordinary interaction that you can intentionally invest in? How might you build up others today for God’s glory through your encouragement?
