Growing the Fruit of Christlike Kindness
"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."--Eph. 4:32 (ESV)
When I think about kindness, I remember some of the most meaningful gifts I’ve received—not because they were costly, but because they showed someone noticed a need. Sometimes it was something small, like salad tongs or a thoughtful gift that simply reminded them of me. What made these moments memorable was not the size or cost, but the thoughtfulness—someone noticed a need or limitation and, without being asked, stepped in to help.
That’s what kindness is. As Kristen Wetherell says, “Kindness is the desire to bless and serve others for their benefit.” That’s the essence of biblical kindness: seeing and responding to needs with a heart that reflects Christ’s generous, attentive love. And that’s what this fruit of the Spirit looks like in our lives too.
The Source of Kindness: God Himself
The truest and most enduring motivation for showing kindness is this: God has first been kind to us. His kindness is a steady reality woven into His very character. Because His kindness is constant, we can depend on it—even when we fall short.
This kindness extends to all of His creation (Psalm 145:8–9). He is gracious, merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love. But to those who draw near, call on Him, and love Him, there is a special personal intimacy. For His covenant people, He upholds them when they fall. He lifts them when they are bowed down, sustaining them in steadfast love (Hosea 11:1–4).
God’s kindness is especially evident in our salvation. Titus 3:4–7 says His goodness and lovingkindness appeared to us—not because of works we had done—but according to His mercy. He saved us by washing, regenerating, and renewing us through the Spirit, justifying us so that we become heirs of eternal life. He noticed a need and purchased it at great cost through Christ. And for all eternity, God will display “the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.”
This covenant kindness is the loyal, steadfast hesed love of the Old Testament. It continues on in the New Testament, captured in the Greek word chrestos. This word is translated as “easy” in Matthew 11:30 but can also be translated as “kind.” He sees our exhaustion, the crushing weight of sin, law, and human expectation, and offers His rest in exchange.
God’s kindness is not simply a warm feeling toward us—it is His active, self-giving goodness. When we experience it, we are changed. And from that transformation flows our own Spirit-enabled kindness toward others.
What Christlike Kindness Looks Like
Because of God’s kindness in His mercy towards us, we don’t want to take it for granted (Rom. 2:4). Instead, we want to reflect it by being gracious and compassionate towards others, even those who are strangers (Lev. 19:33-34) and even our enemies (Luke 6:27-36).
God does not limit His kindness to those we might consider ‘deserving.’ He responds with specific, practical, and fitting acts of service to the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs as he notices them. If we want to follow Him, this may mean costly, inconvenient, or even unfair acts of service (1 Peter 3:8-17). This can be challenging, but as His children, we want to learn to give freely, expecting nothing in return.
Expressing this fruit requires abiding in Him, for we cannot generate this on our own. Through this abiding, He shapes our hearts to reflect His character as we grow to love kindness and do justice as we walk humbly with Him (Micah 6:8). It lifts burdens, meets real needs, and mirrors God’s generous heart—a mercy that welcomes the undeserving and transforms relationships.
Unlike niceness for approval or people-pleasing, Christlike kindness serves from sincerity, not manipulation. Sometimes kindness means being willing to do the hard work of releasing grudges and forgiving as Christ forgave us (Eph. 4:25-32). It requires actively setting aside what comes naturally—anger, malice, slander—and putting on compassion, humility, and patience (Col. 3:12-14). There is strength to kindness, directed in love toward the true good of others.
Growing in Kindness: Tending the Garden of Your Heart
Kindness rooted in Christ is not weak—it carries the strength of love that seeks another’s true good. As we remember who we are and why we serve, we are motivated to demonstrate that kindness, even at cost to us.
1. Prepare the Soil: Pray For the Heart
Remembering that we are His ambassadors (2 Cor. 5:17) and that God shows kindness to all will stretch us at times. For some, showing this kindness may come more naturally. If this is difficult for you (as it is for me!) let’s begin by daily asking for this “bread” of kindness. Pray that God would give you eyes to see the needs of others as He does and to give you a heart that is willing to speak and act in practical ways to care for them—not to earn their favor but simply as an extension of His heart for them.
2. Water the Garden: Be Transformed by His Kindness
Nurture kindness by remembering, savoring, and anticipating God’s kindness to you. Meditate on His mercy in Christ—bearing your sin at great cost, protecting you from wrath, and delighting to serve you even now. Notice His present blessings and trust His future kindness that will never end. Let worship and gratitude warm your heart so His love overflows in practical care for others, even the undeserving. Pray that God would grow His heart in you, producing fruit that reflects Him.
3. Pull the Weeds: Do Not Presume on His Kindness
Beware of attitudes that choke kindness:
Irritation
Pride
A demand for “fairness”
Cruelty
Punishing those who displease you by withholding love
These spring from presuming upon God’s kindness, as if it were owed to us (Rom. 2:4). His kindness is meant to lead us to repentance, not entitlement. Confess and turn from these weeds daily, remembering how freely God has shown you mercy. As you uproot them, you make room for His Spirit to grow genuine kindness in your heart.
4. Tend the Garden: Be Sensitive to Opportunities
Watch for opportunities to show kindness, asking God how to discern needs, listen attentively, speak gently, and put others first. This might mean helping a stressed coworker finish a project, checking on a neighbor who lives alone, or offering childcare so a friend can rest.
That way, we can serve with intention, not as “random acts of kindness.” Let kindness be generous, without measure, and free from unspoken expectations you might place on others. Giving in secret without expecting return may help. These can be gifts of time, service, and prayer that reflect the grace of God, who lavishes His kindness on you.
Living Out God’s Image in Kindness
Kindness grows in hearts transformed by God’s mercy. As we remember the many ways He has shown kindness to us, the Spirit moves us to notice and act on opportunities to share that same kindness. In this way, kindness is humanity at its best, as we live in God’s image. It can be costly, but there is great joy as we give it.
