Growing Faith Through Discipline: Helping Children See Their Need for Jesus
“And he said, ‘The kingdom of God is as if a man should scatter seed on the ground. He sleeps and rises night and day, and the seed sprouts and grows; he knows not how. The earth produces by itself, first the blade, then the ear, then the full grain in the ear. But when the grain is ripe, at once he puts in the sickle, because the harvest has come.’”—Mark 4:26-29 (ESV)
As parents, we like to imagine that sharing the gospel with our children is a sweet, snuggly moment—and sometimes it is. But that hope shouldn’t blind us to the unexpected opportunities God gives us through everyday discipline. These moments don’t merely correct behavior—they uncover the heart and help our children see their need for Jesus. If discipline opens doors to the gospel, how do we step through them wisely?
1. Use Discipline to Sow Gospel Seeds
Correcting our children can feel exhausting (“Not again!”), but it is some of the most important work we do. At the same time, we also need plenty of non-confrontational teaching—books, conversation, shared life—so our children don’t perceive God only as a rule-enforcer but as loving and kind.
Disciplining our children gives us chances to connect truth to real life. As I’ve mentioned before, this is not about behavior management but about helping our children recognize their need for a Savior. Because we are born spiritually blind, we want to help them make connections they cannot yet see on their own.
A key part of discipline is helping children admit what they did wrong. It’s important to note that while confession with us may restore our relationship, it does not restore their relationship with God. They need a new heart first. Confession in discipline simply gives them a living picture of what true reconciliation with God will one day be like.
This is why we avoid rushing them along just to secure outward compliance. Quick fixes can unintentionally create misunderstandings about God, like obeying out of fear, thinking good deeds earn His favor, or believing rules are the main thing God cares about.
Instead, we slow down and help them understand the spiritual nature of sin:
We define what is right and wrong so they know what God expects.
We help them name what’s wrong in their specific action or attitude.
We teach them how to ask for forgiveness.
When they do, we reconcile warmly.
We explain that disobedience to parents is also disobedience to God (Eph. 6:1).
We sow hope, reminding them God forgives, restores, and makes hearts new.
Before a child comes to faith, discipline is primarily evangelistic. We are showing their need, not assuming they possess spiritual power to obey. After conversion, these same discipline moments becomes discipleship as we train them, by the Spirit, to walk in newness of life.
2. “Praying the Prayer” Is Not the Goal
I admit, this can feel unsettling. We fear, What if my child never accepts Christ? In our desire to secure their eternal destiny, we may try to get them to “make a decision.” For their part, children, wanting to please us or avoid fear, may respond before they’re truly ready.
Mark 4:26–29 gives us another way. The farmer scatters seed, but he cannot control what happens beneath the soil. Growth—blade, ear, then full grain—happens “by itself,” in ways he “knows not how.” He sows faithfully, but God alone gives life.
In the same way, we sow. We water. We pray. And if God brings spiritual life, we will participate in the harvest. But we cannot control the timetable. This frees us from fear, pressure, and the pride of imagining there is a formula we can master. God is the Savior, not us.
We do need to be prepared, when our children begin to show signs of readiness, to share the gospel with them, but may we not let fear press them into that decision before they’re ready.
3. Don’t Hinder Children If They Are Ready
This is the reverse caution. If God is stirring faith in a young child, we should not get in their way either. Jesus welcomed little ones (Matt. 19:13–15), and some children are remarkably spiritually sensitive. Our role is not to grill them to make sure they know “enough,” but to guide and encourage.
Remember: the gospel is simple enough for a child to believe. These are the foundational truths we want to make sure they understand:
1. God made you, loves you and is in charge of everything.
If we’ve been teaching and modeling this regularly, our children already know His goodness, authority, and their accountability to Him.
2. Sin is when we don’t listen to God or His good ways.
A child ready for the gospel understands that sin is disobedience against God (Rom. 3:23), not just “doing something bad.”
3. Because God is perfect and good, our sin keeps us far away from Him.
Sin isn’t a small mistake—it is choosing our way over God’s. Children can grasp that sin “dirties” us and separates us from Him. Look for godly sorrow over their sin (2 Cor. 7:10), conviction, or a desire for restored relationship with God.
4. Jesus always obeyed God perfectly.
Jesus is the only person who ever obeyed God completely (Heb. 4:15). Children need this foundation to understand substitution.
5. Jesus died for our sins so we can be forgiven.
Children who experience consequences understand that wrongdoing brings punishment. We can explain that our sin deserves separation from God forever.
But Jesus—who had no sin of His own—offered to take our place. He died, was buried, and rose again (1 Cor. 15:3–4). Because He lives, our sins can be washed clean and we can draw near to God.
6. We turn to Jesus, trust Him, and ask Him to forgive us.
Jesus offers forgiveness as a gift, and we receive it by trusting that His death paid for our sin. Confession expresses that trust. When we reject Him, we remain separated. But when we come to Him, God brings us into His family, and nothing can remove us from His care.
The Privilege of Sharing the Gospel with Our Children
Sharing the gospel is one of our greatest joys as parents. Just as each of our salvation stories is unique, our children’s stories will be as well. As we faithfully parent, we give them small, imperfect pictures of what God’s forgiveness is like. They learn through us that relationships can be broken and restored, and that mercy is available. They won’t grasp all of this at once, but these are the seeds we sow—trusting that God knows how and when they will grow.
