“As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.”—1 Peter 4:10-11 (ESV)
One of the delights of homeschooling my children was having a front-row seat to the ways God made them. I hope by now you know that this was not without its share of sin and rebellion. But parenting is not just about training and discipline either!
Alongside the challenges, there is also great joy. As parents, we are given the privilege of nurturing what God has planted in our children and, over time, helping them learn how to use those abilities as spiritual gifts for the building up of the body of Christ.
As with most things, there is tension here, too. We want to encourage our children without imposing our own desires upon them. We want to appreciate what God has planted in them, even when it looks very different from us.
Though I was a science major and enjoyed math, none of my children did. Art and creativity do not come naturally to me, yet all of them leaned in that direction in college. This made it challenging to know how to help them in areas that felt foreign to me.
Alongside this is another challenge: helping our children understand their gifting as just that—a gift. It is not their identity. How do we encourage them to steward what God has given without turning it into pressure to perform or a way to please others? How do we help them pursue growth for the glory of God rather than achievement for personal gain?
With these questions in mind, let’s consider how we can help our children learn to steward God’s gifts as part of their growth in discipleship.
The Goal of God’s Gifts: His Glory and Love for Others
Psalm 139:13–16 reminds us that God intricately knit our children together in their mother’s wombs and ordained all their days. Ephesians 2:10 adds that, as His workmanship, we were created for good works that He prepared beforehand. Together, these truths remind us that before our children were born, God already had purposes for their lives—purposes that far exceed our own plans for them.
As parents, we are given the privilege of noticing how God has knit our children and helping them steward those gifts for His purposes. And yet, God’s definition of “good works” often looks very different from the world’s. Good works are not synonymous with achievement, success, or recognition. They are simply good—which includes tasks that are hidden, unseen, or mundane.
In addition, 1 Peter 4:10–11 reminds us that each believer has received a gift. These gifts are given, not earned. And if God is the giver, then we are stewards not the originators of our gifts. His desire is that these gifts be used to serve one another so that, in everything, God may be glorified—not so that we find self-fulfillment or personal distinction.
While we may help our children discern their gifts by offering opportunities—classes, lessons, camps—we do not manufacture gifting. In fact, I often caution homeschooling parents to be careful here. In our desire for our children to become “something great,” we can overlook the quiet and ordinary ways God may be calling them to serve.
We may celebrate athletic achievement or musical performance while neglecting faithfulness in household chores, behind-the-scenes service, or quiet acts of love. Yet these, too, are good works God may have prepared for them.
As a mother of a disabled child, my daughter will not earn a degree or experience what the world defines as success. Yet she has been given gifts from God. She is sweet-natured and loves music. Helping her grow in these traits, to glorify God and bring joy to others, is part of my calling as her parent.
So how do we help our children grow as faithful stewards—whether their service is visible or hidden?
Nurturing a Heart of Stewardship
Stewardship can begin early, even when our children are young. While we often focus on addressing sin, we want to be just as intentional about recognizing the good gifts God has given our children. Even so, as we praise them for kindness, obedience, or diligence, we should be careful to attribute these to God’s grace rather than their own virtue.
Because spiritual gifts and talents often take time to emerge, we need not rush to identify them. Instead, we can begin by teaching our children to be faithful with what they already have. Whether it is sharing toys, giving time, or doing family chores, we can help them develop a love for serving and helping others—long before any specific gifting becomes clear.
As usual, this begins with my modeling joyful service in the home. I confess that this was not always easy for me. I often grumbled over the endless meals and constant laundry. Yet our attitudes toward service teach just as much as our words.
For this reason, I encourage parents to let children serve early, even when their efforts are messy or inefficient. The goal is not performance but cultivating a heart that is willing to serve. If we wait until children can do things “right,” it becomes much harder to nurture that heart later.
I like to assign responsibilities without attaching rewards, so that children learn to serve out of love rather than gain. In addition, pair their service with meaning—tell them who it blesses and why it matters. Introduce opportunities to give time to others, whether caring for a younger sibling or helping someone in need.
If you do give your children an allowance, consider dividing it into three parts: giving, saving, and spending. This simple practice helps train them in generosity and wise stewardship. One of our family’s favorite traditions was using their giving money to fill shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child each year.
As children mature and grow in faith, our focus remains the same: faithfulness, not output. Growth happens slowly, and we should resist the urge to lock children into a particular “track” too early.
One Last Thought
While certain abilities may come more easily to some, all believers are called to generosity, hospitality, teaching, and sharing the gospel. Ease is not the same as calling. There are some things that may not be a God-given gift but still a character trait we all grow in.
Instead of waiting to serve because we’re not sure if they are gifted in it, just jump in! Discovering gifts often happens through experience. Trying different forms of service—and even discovering what one is not gifted in—can be deeply formative.
Ultimately, what we want for our children is a lifetime of faithful stewardship. Service in the home, quiet acts of care, thoughtful encouragement—these are all good works. When children express a desire to help, welcome it, even if it costs us time or convenience. Though it may be momentarily inefficient, the fruit can be eternal.
