Did that title grab you? Good. Read on, because there's some really good news for you at the end of this post! Now let's be honest here. Just about every mom I have talked to has admitted to yelling at their kids. Even the most tender-hearted, sweet, patient and gentle ones. The reasons vary, but if we are truly honest with ourselves, we know we all do it.
Ironically, however, I don't know if I want to hear about how to overcome my yelling problem from someone who doesn't yell. So when I started reading this month's Gabby Moms review, I was pleased to hear the author, Lorrie Flem (also publisher of Eternal Encouragement magazine), admit that right away. I knew then and there that I was reading from the perspective of someone who not only understands, but has been there herself.
For me, yelling has been a natural reaction from my fleshly state. Sure, I can probably blame my parents for yelling at me while growing up, but really, when all is said and done, there is no one to blame but myself. Every time I yell, I am making a choice to respond in the flesh.
However, as I began reading Lorrie's book, I realized that the cure to yelling is not so much about gritting my teeth when I feel the urge to yell. Rather, it's about learning to be proactive about the things that cause me to yell.
I know that I tend to yell more when I am either tired or stressed out. There is a direct correlation between the two! At this point, I have a couple choices, namely: 1) suppress my anger, stuffing it inside or 2) eliminate unnecessary stressors from my routine so I can get to bed at a decent hour.
From personal experience, I know option number one actually backfires on me. The more I stuff my frustrations, the greater the outburst in the end. It just doesn't work.
But the second option, though not as direct, is really so much better. In her book, Lorrie outlines twelve different ways to proactively deal with our negative emotions so that we do not have to react in a harmful and detrimental way. Each of them is doable and very practical, like simply being aware of what those triggers are.
This short, 21- page book is full of practical help for moms. There really are no magic formulas (sorry!). But there definitely is a lot of wisdom and insight that can help us to get a handle on this issue. Some of us want some elaborate special tricks, perhaps so that we have an excuse not to do them and keep yelling! However, often times, the real cures are very simple ones, things we already know but don't practice. I would hazard a guess that most of the suggestions in the book are not really brand new ideas to us. But the question is not about how novel the ideas are, but rather, whether we are willing to apply them to our lives.
Do I hear an amen?
COMING UP JULY 24!
Well, if you are a faithful reader on this blog, you're in for a treat. Because on Tuesday, July 24, 2012 (and that day only), Lorrie is offering Yelling: The Cause, The Casualty, The Cure for free as a Kindle book! If you have an iPad with a Kindle app, it will work on that too! (That's what I'm doing!)
Not only that, Lorrie will be hosting a Facebook party on this topic where you can hear from other moms and gain encouragement. I was able to attend the last Facebook party and Lorrie kept the party going with great questions, insights and conversation. If you want to mingle with other moms, you may want to check it out. Don't forget to click "refresh" on your browser regularly to see all the new comments!
Disclaimer: I received a copy of this e-book free of charge in exchange for my thoughts and honest opinion.