Seventeen years ago, I started my journey toward motherhood. I was in the hospital, admitted because I had been leaking amniotic fluid, and was waiting for my contractions to start. I knew that shortly, I would have my brand new baby in my arms and would be a full-fledged mother. It was a unique moment in my life: moving from one season of my life to another. I would be in this place for another full 24 hours before she arrived. I didn't know how my life would change at that point. Today, I am standing in the same space. A little different perhaps. Now instead of welcoming a child, I am beginning the process of releasing her. Today, Janna is working on college essays and applications, thinking about what her major will be, and where God is leading her. As she does so, I also need to be making a transition. Someone once mentioned to me that during their child's senior year, they didn't realize that it would be the last year their family would be together like this. Sure, there are visits home and summer breaks, but things aren't ever quite the same again. I know that was what it was like for me when I left home.
Seventeen years ago, I felt nervous and scared, but at the same time, excited and hopeful. So it is today. There is a lot to do (namely that transcript I need to put together!). My tendency is to look into the future and live there. But when I do so, I miss out on today, where I am living right now, where my kids are right now.
And so, I am going to stop writing and go and play concentration with my little boy. I am going to sit and listen to my daughter process her essay. I will stop and discover something with my older son. And then I will play catch with Anah.
Unlike seventeen years ago, when I had 24 hours between my labor and delivery to make that transition, I still have another nine months to enjoy this season that we are in, when all four of my kids are still at home. And I am praying that I will not take these days for granted, for they will not pass by again.