"...We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God's people in accordance with the will of God."--Romans 8:26b-27 After the past few weeks, things are starting to settle down. For those of you who have been following my ongoing saga with my health issues, news from my doctor today was good. The cyst is still present but shrinking. Blood work shows normal ranges of whatever he was looking for (sorry, I don't remember the precise names of everything!). The only thing is that there still is no explanation for the abnormal results on the urine test. However, my doctor is satisfied that we have done enough testing to allow him to sign off on my physical.
So I want to first of all say thank you for praying for us. I praise the Lord for helping me not to be worried throughout this uncertain time. The busyness of putting our house up on the market combined with the knowledge that God is in control has helped me to keep my mind moving forward and not dwell on the what-if's in my life.
As for the house, it has now been officially on the market for a week now, and we had our first open house this Saturday. We are planning another open house for realtors that will be this Thursday. On the house-hunting end, we have been looking around and have found a few homes that we like, but the downside is we basically need to have at least an offer made on our house before they will entertain our offers. We got no offers last time. We don't need a lot of offers. Just one will do. Please pray that the Lord will raise up at least one for us.
Interestingly, the past few weeks, stressful as they have been, have also been some of the best times we have had together as a family. With the upcoming adoption, I have been praying that the Lord will bond our family together---our marriage, our relationships with our kids, as well as our kids' relationships with each other. It has been such a blessing to receive prayer from my dear friends, but there is none as sweet as hearing your own children pouring their hearts out to God on your behalf.
What I am learning is that God doesn't just wave His magic wand and grant us our every wish. The things that I really desire in life usually come through pain or trial. You have probably heard it said that if we pray for God to grant us patience, He will usually have us endure something that is going to test it to the limits (like a stubborn toddler, a slow driver, or a long line at the market).
I have been praying for our family to grow closer together as a unit, to be a team. I've prayed for the Lord to lead my husband and me into a deeper marriage and unity. And of course, I have been praying for my children to not only tolerate each other but to actually enjoy one another. And the Lord is making it happen, but not in the way I would have chosen.
I know the Lord could make these things happen the easy way. But instead, He has chosen to take our family through a more circuitous route. For Him, the journey is just as important as the end result. In the process He grows our faith and creates situations where we need to grow the very things we are praying for. I know from past experience that when I walk through hard times with others (whether it be my own trials or theirs) we have a history and a bond that can come no other way. The same is true for our family.
And so, even though I don't know what is going to happen in regards to our house, I know that the real purpose may not be moving into a bigger home to accomodate our growing family. The more important gifts may be God's answers to all those unspoken prayers that are deepest in my heart. Whether we move or not, I know that God will grow our faith in a deeper way than I can imagine.
If you find yourself in a difficult position or a hard time in your life, maybe, just maybe, the Lord is in the process of answering one of your heart's deepest longings. Perhaps it is when we are in our points of greatest desperation, fear, or difficulty that we are also the most malleable and open to receiving the gifts that He longs to give us. Sometimes it doesn't look like things are ever going to change, and sometimes they even change for the worse. But behind it all there is a God who sees beyond the temporary into the eternal. And even though life doesn't make sense from this perspective, we can trust that it makes perfect sense from His. We can approach Him with full confidence that even if He does not answer our prayers the way we desire, He is answering something that is far greater.