I realize that I am not an original writer. If I were to wait to write only original posts, I think there would be only three posts on this blog. Really. I'm just going to be honest here. And lately, I've been waiting for that original thought, but have come up wanting. It doesn't help to read other mom blogs and to see them overflowing with wit, wisdom and humor. I think to myself, "I'm not ever going to be like that!" or "I fail so much, how can I even pretend to have it together...and then write about it too?" or "Who would want to read my boring story?" I get the impression that if I don't impress my family with new culinary masterpieces every evening or if I don't have deep and profound thoughts every waking moment of the day or if our home isn't a bowl of laughs, that I have nothing worth writing about. So I don't. (Yeah, I know I'm not supposed to compare myself with others, but it is an old habit of mine that the Lord is in the process of helping me to break.)
And so over the past (mostly silent) month, I've been thinking a lot about why it has been so hard for me to write anything. Most of it is fear: what will my readers think if I don't know it all or have it all together? What if they find out I'm not (gasp!) perfect? (Oh the horror!) Some of it is because it has been an incredibly challenging year for me and that my creative juices have dried up. And some of it is because I've been through the emotional ringer and my words seem tinged with anger, frustration and bitterness. In my attempts to be as honest as possible, I have felt I have started going down that path. I don't my blog to be a negative place, so I just don't write.
So maybe I don't have a lot of original content in me right now. However, I do find much that inspires me to think. As a novice writer, I know that I need a nudge. I like to read something, then ask myself several questions: 1) What resonates with me here? 2) Is there a new thought here that I've never considered before? or 3) What can I do/change/apply to my life now as a result of reading this piece?
I usually like to write down my discoveries in a notebook or journal---hence, the name of this new category of posts. Some will be reflective. Some will be ideas to try at home or in our homeschool. Some will be inspiration I get from reading a book. Some will be a series of posts. I am realizing that my creativity usually lies in taking an idea and making it my own. And if it helps you, then that's even better! My prayer is that as I learn, synthesize, discover, experiment, and yes, create something original---and then write about it---this blog will become what I envision it to be.
There are times when I feel very inadequate compared to all the "perfect" moms out there in blogland. With a title like "Mom University" it gives the mistaken notion that I'm the teacher in this space. While I may have some ideas to share, I am realizing that the reality is, it is more about what I am learning as a student in God's Mom University of life! I am praying that I will always be a learner, and if what I can learn can benefit others, then all glory to Him.
With that said, I'm looking forward to sharing what I learn with you...and find a cure to my writer's block!