"We love because He first loved us."--1 John 4:19 (NIV) It was a bad day. You know what they're like. The to-do list is longer than your patience. As a homeschooling family, we take a three week break in the spring and my tendency is to view it as "catch-up" time. I like to keep our school weeks simple and put a lot of things on the back burner when we are in session, hoping that when the break comes, I can tackle them all. Ha! You probably know what's coming.
The more I wanted to tackle my list, the more interruptions seemed to come my way. My 3-year-old needed to go to the bathroom...again. My husband and daughter needed to have dinner ready early. My 10-year-old needed help planning his birthday party. And on and on. Not very big things, but every time I had to stop, I could feel my frustration mounting. I am sorry to report that I did not respond to these interruptions very well. By the end of the day, I was feeling like I had completely sabotaged my day with my attitude.
Upon reflection, I realized that I reacted the way I did because I had cut myself off from the source of life and love. My to-do list became my god--and it was not very forgiving! When I am disconnected from Him, I tend to live out of my own fleshly tendencies. Grumpy Mommy Syndrome is really an indicator of my heart. I don't love because I have forgotten to live in His love.
And so, I come before You, O Lord, humbled once again. I have allowed the things of this world, my selfish desires, my agenda, come in between You and me. Please forgive me and restore to me your life and love so that I might be the conduit of joy and peace to the ones I love the most. Amen.