It is now 7:00 a.m. in our new home. It is very quiet, everyone is still in bed. It has been a very busy, long two days. But we are now in our new home, thanks to the help of friends and my kids. Most of the boxes are unpacked, and we are now settling in. It certainly didn't come at a convenient time, but I also knew that there probably never will be one. As I had shared in my last post, these are the times when I am tempted to just turn inward, think of myself, and plow over others in my attempts to get things done. I also tend to get very inflexible as well. There are things that need to be accomplished, tasks that need doing. I map out my day to the minute, just so I know everything will be finished.
In those moments, my list and plans become my gods. And they are not very forgiving ones. When I fail to finish them, I can feel their whips lash across my back, forcing me to keep going. As a scolded foreman, I then take it out on others.
In challenging myself to write these posts, the Lord has shown me areas that I need to let him refine more. And this is definitely one of them. I know I tend to run on a tight time line, mainly because there is so much I want to do in a day, something that is connected to my high expectations of myself, a perfectionism rooted in my own woundedness.
In this way, learning to give the gift of flexibility is giving the gift of trust. When I trust in the Lord to help me to set realistic expectations, He usually removes a few things off my list or gives me permission to let go of things that I thought I needed to do. When I no longer have to do it my way, there is a release from that taskmaster. I am free to move and make adjustments as needed without the stress and strain of trying to get everything done in my own strength and through my own ingenuity.
Even as I write this morning, I feel the pressures of the day mounting. It is now 7:20 and I still haven't showered yet. We still haven't worked out how all 5 of us are going to share one bathroom, much less work in my morning workout, cooking meals, preparing to teach on Sundays and doing our schoolwork.
One thing is for certain, if this happened four years ago, I would have blamed my husband for messing my routine up. Thankfully, we are not there right now. I have learned a few things since then, and one of them is that the gift of flexibility coupled with a spirit of adventure, will go a long way. I know I can ease my husband's burdens in this very stressful time for our family by being willing to flex with him, being willing to let my routines be upset for awhile.
As moms, routines are what help us to keep the home running smoothly. It is not only good for us, but also for our children. When changes come, but we are unwilling to be flexible, we can end up sabotaging the good things to come.
Whether it be a willingness to adjust your schedule or plans, or a willingness to try a new way of doing things, the gift of flexibility is something we can bless our husbands with. Is there something the Lord is prompting in your heart to change, adjust or drop entirely? It can be actual tasks or methods, or it can simply be expectations that are too high. Let us be women who are able to move as the Spirit guides and leads our husband, supporting them and growing with them. I'm sure he'll appreciate it!