Eleven Months

sbsThis update is a bit late, I know, with all the end-of-summer activities, visiting guests, and the beginning of school. You relate? Things have definitely settled down into a routine. We are still working on getting Anah's thyroid medication adjusted to the right dosage but other than that, we now have very few health issues to deal with. Now we have been focusing on helping her to develop her self-care skills, such as getting dressed on her own, washing and drying her hands, and eating neatly.

When we first brought Anah home, I had lots of plans for her education. I thought I could just simply figure out where she is at and do what I did with my other kids. Of course, she would be slower, but now I am realizing that she is not just going to require more time but a completely different course altogether. I am realizing how abstract concepts such as color and number really are...and in some ways, not very practical for her right now. Everything has to be very concrete, which has been why we are defining school for her as practical living skills and not in terms of academics.

This has been very trying for me and testing my patience. All this is bringing out the very fallenness in me, something that I would much rather not have to face. I still try to do things on my own strength, yet the more I try, the more I realize that changes are not going to be made because of my efforts or ingenuity.

This has also shown me my smallness of faith. I wish I was stronger in my trust of God's plan and direction in my life. But the fact is, small faith only grows when it is tested. I just don't like it being tested.

A few weeks ago, my husband and I spent some time with the kids watching a video from Mobilise 2013 featuring speaker Andrew Wilson, who himself is a dad of special needs kids. Although this is a missions conference and not a parenting conference, his message struck home for me. He shared from Nehemiah 3, which he admits is not the most interesting piece of Scripture there is. It is a list of the builders of each section of the wall. The point: that each person needed to build his section of the wall or the wall would not do what it was meant to do. If even one person did not do his part, the wall is worthless, even if everyone else does their job.

This convicted me, because as I see it, my part in this journey with Anah is to do the distasteful, the repetitive, and the downright boring in her life. It's not a life of glamour and glitz. No one is going to know what I do. But if I don't do it, her life will be affected.

Many times, I feel like a whining kid. I don't want to have to remind her to drink her milk again. I'd rather be doing something more significant (like writing a blog post or teaching a class?). Walter B. Knight writes, "If you are a Christian in small things, you are not a small Christian." How often we want to make a name for ourselves by doing the big things when it is the small things that really will shape and define you the most.

Sigh.

Time to get lunch.

P.S. If you'd like to watch the 45 minute video that I referenced in this post, see you can find it on this page. I couldn't figure out how to get it to show up on my post, but I hope you will click over there and watch it. It's totally worth it.