[box] Every Saturday morning, I will be sharing a little snippet from my own personal walk with God...straight from the heart. God has work to do in me too, and sometimes it's not pretty. But my prayer is that as I am honest, He is more able to do that work in me...and at the same time, encourage you as well.[/box] About a year ago, I started writing on this blog. It was a big step of faith, letting "the world" in on the thoughts in my mind. I would much rather keep them in private or in my own journal. But God called me out of my boat and challenged me to walk on water.
My primary desire for this blog is to encourage moms, but as I have been writing over the year, I realize that there is more that God has planted in my heart. I hope that this site will be a place for:
expectant moms to get started young moms to gain perspective seasoned moms to find hope.
As I have been writing, the Lord has used the process of putting my thoughts into words to help flesh out the things that I want my life to stand for:
God love marriage children home faith hope vision purpose,
and ultimately the gospel and Kingdom of God.
In writing, God has stretched me and challenged me, as I have sought to live authentically before you. Knowing that there are people reading this has pushed me to the next level in my own life. I knew I could not write about making space for God when I neglected my own spiritual life. I knew I could not write about loving our husbands when my marriage was on the rocks. I knew I could not write about raising children for Jesus when I harbored a selfish heart. Writing has forced me to be first what I want to teach others. For this, I am so thankful.
Over this year, I have had to wrestle with my own flaws, failures and fears. I have had to humble myself and be honest when I have fallen short. I have also had to fight to be really me, and not write to please others.
It is so easy for me to compare myself to other mommy bloggers out there. This one is funnier than me. This one is deeper than me. That one is so original. That one seems to have it all together.
But one thing I am learning is that God doesn't ask me to be them. He asks me to be me. Even if I am serious. Even if I am not highly entertaining. Even if I am a geek. Even if no one reads any of these posts. Even if no one comments.
In a world where we are often judged by the car we drive, the neighborhood we live in, or the way we look, it has been hard to walk alone. I know I often want to just blend in with everyone else. I don't want to be different.
And yet, I believe this is the biggest lesson God is teaching me this year. The more I look around and compare myself to others, the more I will flounder and sink when Jesus is calling me out of the boat to walk on water.
So, on this one year anniversary of Mom University, I know that first and foremost I must stay true to Him. I must champion the things He loves
God love marriage children home faith hope vision purpose His gospel His Kingdom.
I must continue to live authentically, be true to His calling for me, and step out in faith.
Only then will I walk on water.
Lord, I need You. Without You, I will flounder and fail. Thank You for the privilege of walking on the road with You, even though it is a lonely one sometimes. With You, I am never alone. Forgive me when my eyes wander and fixate on the waves around me. Teach me how to walk with my eyes on You alone, for You will not fail to catch me when I fall. I pray for Your courage to walk in the way You have set before me, even if no one else comes along. Help me to value what You think of me more than what others think. Thank You, dear Jesus, for choosing this path for me. In Your name, Amen.