Upgrading My Marriage: Rewriting My Vows
As software developers better understand the bugs of their current system, they fix them. As they come up with new ideas, they improve and keep moving forward.
What about my marriage?
To be honest, I take my marriage for granted—kind of like an operating system running in the background while the busyness of life occupies center stage.
Sometimes there are so many windows and programs open that time with my husband recedes into the background.
This may work for awhile, but I have found that it will eventually catch up with us.
What bugs are in my marriage? How can I address them so that they are no longer holding us back?
Where are places we can grow? How can we move forward and make improvements?
As we reach our 25th anniversary, I was challenged to reconsider the vows I made back then. These vows were the core of our ceremony.
Do they need some fine-tuning? Or do they need a complete upgrade?
The sad thing is—and I don’t think I’m alone—I don’t even have a copy of those vows.
For something that I am committing to for the rest of my life, that is a problem.
I wrote in my last post that I wanted to set some goals—create projects and develop habits—to grow in my marriage relationship so that it will more fully reflect Christ and prepare us for our future with Him.
And so I think my first project is this: write new vows for the next (God willing!) 25 years.
Now that I have a better picture of what marriage is like, what it symbolizes, and where we’re headed, what new vows will I make?
If marriage is a testimony to others who are watching, what does it say?
If marriage is a way that we live together to further God’s domain in the place where He planted us, how will I live?
As a people of God, we want to live our lives here on earth so that it more closely resembles the spiritual realities that are hard to see.
When we do so, we point others to Christ and help them to better fulfill their roles in His body and prepare both themselves and others to meet their Creator.
So what my marriage says matters tremendously. These commitments I make are not emotionally driven but they are declarations of the heart—to God as much as to my husband.
What does your marriage say? What do you want it to say? Where are you and your spouse headed?
As I reflect on these things, I hope that the vows I make to my husband will then reflect that destination—and then shape the way we live together.
What will you include in your vows?