Where Do We Go From Here?: Thoughts After 25 Years of Marriage
June marks our 25th wedding anniversary.
Twenty-five years is a good time to look back and not just reminisce but review.
Where are we going?
What are we doing?
I thought it should get easier, but to be truthful, we are struggling with our marriage.
We have gone through a lot in those 25 years.
However, I do believe I love my husband more than I did when we first got married.
Not with the butterflies and emotions but with commitment and faithfulness.
There are things about him that I did not know when I said, “I do,” things that have surfaced as time and life wore on.
There are also habits and patterns that we developed over the years. Some of them good. Some of them not so good.
You probably understand.
But one thing I know better now is this:
Marriage is a blessing, not merely for this life but as God’s means of sanctification.
He didn’t join me with my husband merely to make me happier or complete me or what-have-you.
Our marriage is meant to be a picture of something far greater.
What is it?
I confess that I am not 100% sure.
But I want to learn. I want to grow.
I desire that in this relationship, I might be able to reflect the good purposes of God. I want it to be a blessing to my husband, our children, our church, and our world.
I pray that it will be a witness to those around us who watch and wonder about the God we serve.
This is my hope and desire as I examine and pray over our marriage this month.
Where are we going?
What should we be focusing on?
How can I make the most of the days God has given me with my husband?
How does that focus impact what we do in our everyday lives?
In what ways do I need to grow, to change, to mature?
When many other responsibilities and duties cry out for my attention, how do I prioritize this relationship?
These are honest, real questions that I am asking myself as I consider our marriage. Deep down, I want this relationship to reflect Christ. I want to honor God as I love my husband.
Like I said, these days have been hard. We are struggling. Our lives are busy. Our kids are not fully independent. We have one that never will be.
Many days our hearts are heavy, and we barely have time to speak to one another.
And yet there is a vision for marriage in Scripture, a purpose for this relationship in God’s design.
Father, please teach me how to not only be a good wife, but to reflect You in my marriage. Would You help me to build up my marriage, regardless of what my husband does or doesn’t do? Please sanctify me and grow me in the image of Christ. In Your name, and for Your sake, Amen.